My daughter has felt nauseated since July 4th. Because nausea is a symptom to look out for with Covid-19, she chose to self-isolate. We contacted the doctor after a week and my daughter and the doctor had a virtual appointment. She prescribed acid-suppressing meds. No change. On Monday (July 20th) she started throwing up and didn't stop. Tuesday morning, I called the doctor again and they said, "I know you don't want to hear this, but you should take her to the Emergency Room." Thus, began our 12-hour Emergency Rooms tour.
We started at the ER nearest to us. After a short wait, they took us back and started an IV and took blood. Because she had been vomiting for almost 24 hours, they immediately started a saline drip and anti-nausea medication. After a few hours at this ER they told us there was nothing in her bloodwork to tell them what was going on. It indicated that she was dehydrated (understandably so) and slightly high white blood cells, but not high enough to cause any concern. They were getting ready to discharge her when, all of a sudden, she had a sharp pain in her lower right abdomen. Immediately, they had concerns for appendicitis. However, apparently, the ultrasound they needed was at another hospital...off we went to the Children's Hospital Emergency Room.
After driving through a thunderstorm, we pulled into our second ER of the day. On the way there we both agreed that appendicitis was good. It is known, little risk because she didn't have a lot of pain yet, and then we could release her from her quarantine. Ok, we can do this, this is good!
Several hours later, after an extensive ultrasound and more fluids and anti-nausea medication, it was time for the discharge conversation again. They hadn't found appendicitis, her ovaries were fine, nothing with her gallbladder. Maybe Covid-19? It has presented with children differently. But they didn't feel very confident about this. They were getting ready to discharge her with the provision that we come back if her pain increased. Then the attending came back and told us she was torn...like me, she had concerns that the dehydration would get worse if she sent us home. After checking in with what my daughter wanted, it being her body, after all, she was admitted to the hospital. At this point, she had had a bag of saline at the first ER and a bag and a half at the second one.
We got settled into her room in the Pediatric Ward. Her first hospital stay since being born 14 years ago. She was feeling "puny", to quote the attending who admitted her. Her belly really hurt, the anti-nausea meds were working, but still, her tummy was all squirrely. She didn't trust herself to drink anything (though she did drink a can of Gatorade in the ER). Luckily the first ER had left her IV in, so she only had to be stuck once this whole time.
We tried to sleep. I was on a chair that pulled out to a single bed. It felt like I was camping and once I found a comfy spot, I was afraid to move for fear of losing it. By 6am I had been woken numerous times and my body couldn't take that bed...so I moved to the recliner. My girl didn't look much better. The night doctor came in to check on us before she left and we talked about whether it could be Covid-19. She said in children they often have gastrointestinal symptoms and that they would test. With the shift change and my renewed fear that it might be coronavirus, I started thinking beyond medicine.
I remembered I had contact information for an intuitive healer. "Worth a shot," I thought. I texted her who I was, where I had gotten her information, and what was happening and asked if she had time. Then the nurse poked her head in and said they were going to do a Covid test and that everyone who came in the room would be all decked out in gowns and shields. I could feel my fear rise into my throat.
Luckily, I heard back from the healer pretty quickly. She asked me to send a current picture of my daughter and told me she would call me after her meditation session. A little bit of hope crept into my fear. When she called me, she told me that it wasn't a virus (phew!) and that it was a bacterium acting like a parasite. "No problem, I can kill it. So, it doesn't overwhelm your daughter, I'll do it in a few sessions," she told me. Wait, what? Really?? I quickly sent her payment via Venmo and waited.
Meanwhile, gowned, masked and shielded people came and went. A nurse with a Covid test up the nose and three doctors who had no idea what could be wrong with my daughter.
I've heard people who are empathic or intuitive talk about getting downloads. I've always wondered what they meant.
Then, while helping my daughter go to the bathroom and wash her hands, I had this experience - it was like I got a whole bunch of information in a split second. While holding onto her IV tubes while she painstakingly washed her hands, using what seemed like the last of her energy, it hit me. "I'm living out of a fear of something that my instinct says isn't true!" I'm all about love, and here I've been living in fear. I remember hearing about perfectly healthy babies who have failure-to-thrive in orphanages because they don't get touched enough. My friend and wellness coach always says we need at least 12 hugs a day to maintain health. My daughter is incredibly touchy-feely. No wonder she's not doing well, I'm not being MOM! I'm letting fear circumvent my maternal instinct. As a mom, I will do practically anything to make sure my kids are thriving. And I've let my fear of a virus that I don't think she has run the show. This was all in a split-second. My daughter felt and saw a shift in me. I wrapped my arms around her fragile body and held her and apologized.
After that, my daughter napped. She slept more peacefully and deeply than I had seen in a long time. My heart was full, I couldn't help but just sit there and watch her.
While she slept, the nurse came in to tell me her test was negative. Confirmation of what I already knew in my knowing. Her sleep was confirmation to me of the healer's energy work and the rehydration efforts of the multiple IVs (at this point I think we were up to five or so bags).
When she woke up, she looked different. Softer, somehow. Like the edges that the pain had caused were easing back. My daughter was starting to emerge again through that fog of pain. She was finally willing to try and drink something from her collection of about 15 little bottles and cans they had brought her. It was like winning the lottery for this momma.
By the time our fantastic day nurse, MM, came to say goodbye, it was obvious she was feeling better. We were exhausted from everything and we headed to bed early. But, lying there in the dark, we gabbed like we were at a slumber party while holding hands.
Yesterday, Thursday, I woke at 5:30am when her IV bag ran dry and couldn't go back to sleep. So, she and I watched the sun come up. Wednesday she couldn't even tolerate the shades being open, but yesterday we had them wide open, watching the helicopter come and go, the Covid-19 testing line, and the shapes in the clouds. She went to the bathroom by herself and danced with her IV pole (sorry, she won't let me post that video). My spunky, sassy, sunshine of a daughter was peeking back out, full of life and ravenous. After permission from the doctor, she had a banana. When that stayed down, she had a big breakfast of eggs, bacon, grits, and a biscuit. I was a little worried that was too fast, but that stayed down too. "Yep, she's gonna be ok," I thought.
Shortly after that, the doctors rounded. They stood at the foot of her bed; mouths agape at the transformation she had made in 24 hours.
Eight and a half bags of saline and two nights in the hospital later, she was discharged around 3pm Thursday, July 23, 2020.
As I write this, a day after we came home and a long night's sleep for both of us, I'm in awe. I'm very present to the power of love and intuition. We have a culture of authority. We listen to others instead of ourselves. Can I say definitively what has my daughter home next to me on the couch, munching on mango? No. But what I am present to is we all worked together. I don't think she would have bounced back as fast without the energy work. But the energy work wouldn't have been as successful without the IVs flushing the killed bacteria out of her system. And, she wouldn't have been as settled without the unconditional love and comfort of mom.
And I'm clear it wouldn't have happened had I not started listening to myself. And I feel that Spirit was right there with us, to make sure we got the care she needed and for us to all have the breakthroughs along the way. In the first ER, the pain in the side. In the second, the attending offering us the choice instead of the resident sending us home. My niggle to call the medical intuit. My download. I'm not someone who has had that kind of relationship with Spirit before. This is my turning point. This is my line in the sand. Trust myself. Forget what others think and TRUST MYSELF. There are so many times this week that I could have ignored niggles. And you can argue so much in here. Any one of three things could be given all the credit for her recovery. It doesn’t really matter what did it, not to me. Having my daughter curled up on the couch next to me now is the world to me.
Who do you need to go hug right now? Where is fear crippling you? Where is life on hold? Go, take powerful action.
No one gets out alive, every day is do or die
The one thing you leave behind
Is how did you love, how did you love?
Shinedown, “How Did You Love?”
