Being Love

I sit here watching the anger and frustration overflow in Minneapolis. We are in the middle of a pandemic, one that many feel is being mismanaged and causing more suffering and pain for the millions of Americans who are affected, either directly or indirectly. To be clear, this is NOT a political post. This is a post in support of humanity and love.

I say that my purpose on the planet is love. It took me a long time to feel that this wasn't hokey. Sometimes I still grapple with that. But then I look at what is happening in our country and I'm clear it's sometimes VERY HARD to be love. How do you come from love when someone shoots a McDonald's employee for telling them the dining room is closed? How do you come from love when people say that 100,000+ dead is a hoax and that it's all an elaborate con? How do you come from love when you watch the police, who are there to protect and serve, gang up on a man and kneel on him until he dies?

That's the question on my mind tonight. I am SO angry, scared and heartbroken for our country tonight. So I rely on what I know, what I believe in. Love. I love myself and all of my feels -- I call it having grace for myself. I feel free to limit my exposure to the news right now, because of how much I feel the feels. I try not to limit such that I stay in a bubble, but enough that I can function in an empowered way (vs curled up under the covers, crying for all the pain and suffering out there). And I reach out to those I love and tell them. When I was a teacher I would tell my students that love creates more love, and hate creates more hate. Think about it...it really is that simple. If you're angry and someone you're angry with reacts with love and understanding, your anger abates (unless you REALLY want them pissed off). If you're angry and they act defensively, it confirms your anger and it grows.

So, being love, I've come to realize, is WAAAYYYY harder than reacting the way I want to. I want to blame, fault, accuse...I want to be righteous and call people idiots. But I don't really. Because when I come from love, it honors ME. It's like forgiveness, you don't forgive people for them, often they aren't even aware of your upset. You forgive people for YOUR peace and happiness. Choosing to BE love is the same. I sleep well at night knowing I've added joy and happiness, even just a little, into a tumultuous world. My life is fun when I choose love, because then I'm looking for who I can make smile and how. We find what we look for in the world, and when I look for love, I see it. When I look for hate, I see it. That's easy, love is sometimes Waldo.

So, right now I choose to believe that everyone is doing their best in this pandemic. It's a new experience for everyone and we're all navigating it our own way. And I also choose to believe that our country is having all weaknesses exposed, the racism that was hidden but not gone is now on the surface, as is corruption and corporations running things. All of that was, but we didn't realize it. Now that we realize it, we can act on it and make the world a better place. I choose the interpretation that empowers me and has me be my best self.

And sometimes being love is damn hard. But it's always worth it.

Vines, Part 2

Now that we've cleared about half of our property, we can really see the results. It's like we've made part of our land turn from a jungle to a forest. One of the things we've noticed is how the trees move. Trees were made to bend in the wind so they don't fall over. With large vines in those trees, not only are they getting valuable nutrients sucked out of them, but it adds to the foliage in the canopy. We've had some fairly strong winds recently, and we've lost branches and even have a tree that's partially out of the ground. We realized that these vines also create more of a sail, so instead of the wind passing THROUGH the trees, it was being caught by the trees. Not good. You've got the wind pushing on the tops of trees that are already weaker. Recipe for downed trees.

One of the vines stretched down our driveway

Battle of strength

A vine that my hubs couldn't pull out of the tree. It's the size of my wrist!

In life we have our own version of vines. Things that suck the life from us. Things that keep us from being able to bend and adapt to what life brings. And, just like our property, there's a neverending supply of things. You pluck one, another shows up. However, also like our property, when you can identify enough of those "sucks" and complete them, then you can manage to easily identify the new ones while they are still weak. Or you start getting curious and go looking for those big ones that slipped by. Curiosity has it be fun, like what we've started feeling as our jungle starts looking more like a state park. As we create walking trails and access to a little stream. As we see wildlife we haven't seen before.

In this time, where everything is different and new and scary and frustrating, it's VERY easy to have those "sucks" show up. The difficulty can sometimes be not letting them consume you like the vines did to so many of our trees. Even for me, with a toolbox full of ways to get and keep myself empowered and lots of people on my team that I can call, I still have moments, half days sometimes, where I'm just so consumed by my thoughts and doubts. I'm practicing not resisting, but to just keep swaying in the breeze.

Find grace for yourself in these uncertain times. 💜