Self-Expression and Professionalism

 I've been thinking a lot this past week about my "professional image" and who and how I want to be online. As I see it, there are two options for me. 

Option 1 - Be careful what I post, present a professional image, essentially edit myself

Option 2 - Allow myself to be fully self-expressed and trust that those who want to work with me will, and those that don't will be weeded out naturally

Now, when I talk about fully self-expressed, I'm not talking about much different from what I normally post. However, perhaps a little more "colorful" language. Perhaps a little more politics. Perhaps a little more social justice. A little more ME. 

I've been coached to NOT do Option 2. And I get it. Present myself as a professional. However, when I really get still and check in with myself, intuitively it seems that more open self-expression would allow for some pre-weeding, so to speak. People who connect with me know they connect with ME, not just some image I'm presenting. It seems to me this supports both me and my potential clients. Don't we enjoy following people on social media that we relate to? That we feel are expressing OUR beliefs, thoughts, concerns, and sense of humor?

But where is that line? 

Where's the line between too formal and too informal? 

I love it when my coach "tells one on herself." I can relate to her and her humanity, and often I can find myself in it. But what if she really let it all hang out? How would I feel then? 

I guess this blog post is less of a blog and more of a poll. I'd really like to hear your thoughts. Is this a shift in how people do business that I'm present to, like so many other cultural shifts that have happened in the past few years? Or am I bringing casualness to something that I shouldn't?

What do you think?

Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

Celebrate What You Don't Think You Can

Weird, right? 

We don't think about celebration that way. I first heard of this idea from Dave Ellis, transformational leader and author of Falling Awake. I really thought it sounded like an oxymoron.

And, in a way it is. But it's also access to finding that silver lining, no matter how dark the cloud.

This idea is what's kept me going, among other practices, during the past five months of Covid-19. While I certainly don't celebrate the ever-increasing death toll or the long term suffering people are experiencing, I have SOO many celebrations from this time. The first of which is that it allowed me to realize how much of my life was being gifted to others and not really being used for what I wanted to be doing - working more hours at my part-time job than I wanted to because they needed help, volunteering somewhere because they were short-handed, etc. What I realized is that it was my way of not being responsible (respond-able) for the things I SAID I was committed to. But if I'm spread thin, those don't get the attention they need, do they? Ahhh, the excuses.

But surely, Marjorie, you can't celebrate something like death or murder? Well, again, while I would never ever celebrate the suffering of another, there are often celebrations to be found. George Floyd's death, for example, sparked a revolution our country was desperate for. 

It's a difficult transition to make, mentally. We're so programmed to focus on what's wrong. Heck, turn the news on for five minutes and you'll see what I mean. We're also programmed to think in either/or. This idea requires some powerful both/and thinking. What do I mean by all that? 

Either/or -- something bad happened, I have to be sad or mad, I can't be happy. 
Both/and -- something bad happened, I can be sad AND I can also focus on the gem that comes from it.

If you think about it, we're making diamonds. It's pressure and heat that turns rock into diamonds. It's water cutting away at stone that created beautiful canyons. Beauty often comes from struggle. The most gentle souls often have the most difficult upbringing and childhood experiences.

Embrace it. Hold it and don't push it away. The pain and hurt is part of our growth, as much as we don't want to endure it. That's where taking on celebrating what you don't think you can makes subtle shifts in your life, and, little by little, as you practice any new habit, you'll notice your life is fuller and richer for it. 

I'd love to hear in the comments about what you've celebrated! 

Photo by Pineapple Supply Co. on Unsplash

Dump the Junk Drawer

Do you ever have a desire to accomplish something but then you end up standing there, unsure where to start? 

Yeah, me too. Often. I used to think there was something wrong with me.

When I was a 5th grade teacher, I took a class so I could better help my students who had ADD. I realized the people leading the class were describing what was happening in MY brain! "Oh my goodness, this is something other people experience?! I thought I was defective!" was what was right there for me at the time.

Since then I have begun to collect strategies and methods to support myself. In fact, as I write this, I'm using a technique I learned in the class - having another person there with you while you work. It has some great name that now escapes me - D'oh! While I write, my fellow ADDer (my diagnosis) and dear friend, David, is in my earbuds on Zoom. In fact, his timer just went off from the stretch break he was taking. In my brain? "Oooh, yes, I should start using a timer too!"

SQUIRREL!

Ok, back to the topic at hand, which really does all relate. 

One technique I have used recently with great success is called a Brain Dump. I even found these fun notepads for it. It's like dumping the junk drawer of your brain. I rely WAY too much on my brain to hold things, and since starting this process, I have more brainpower to do the things that are important to me instead of using it as a receptacle for snippets of conversation, to-do lists, grudges, and whatever else is cluttering the precious CAUSING LOVE part of my brain.

Even as I write this, I feel like this post is jumbled and incoherent. Perhaps I'll identify something from my past at some point that helps quiet that, but for now, the brain dump is gold for me. And it's so easy! Just like dumping the junk drawer so you can sort through it - dump what's in your brain onto a sheet of paper. Get it all out! All of the things you want to do. All of the things you need to do. All of the things you've not gotten to. All of the things you've said you would do and haven't. And especially all of the things you've been dreaming of doing and you haven't taken actions around to make them reality! Sometimes you can even do this when you feel off but don't know why. In that case, a friend with a big listening of you is a good person to dump that to, or better yet, a life coach who is going to be highly trained at listening and isn't going to take any of it personally!

Once you do your brain dump, there are multiple things you can do with that. Sometimes the first action is obvious. Other times you may need to incorporate a prioritizing activity. I learned a great one recently that I use all the time with great success. It's easy and quick, and it's heart-centered so it fits perfectly in what I'm here for (my WHY). And it leaves me with what action to take first, which is usually what stops me from taking ANY actions. 

Another tool that many people use successfully is a Mind Map. These are good for any projects you have that you don't know where to start working. I love these (when I remember to use them!) because I am very visual AND I like puzzles. I love seeing everything on paper, organized but not in a rigid way. Mind maps are a fantastic way to start a project, then you can do a brain dump for each category and then prioritize from there. 

I know people who have these things laid out for every project they have. People who have mastered being organized more than I have. During this pandemic-time, I have shifted greatly from comparing myself to others, in particular people like that, and finding myself lacking TO appreciating how we're all different and always learning and growing. Now I learn from those people around me that have something mastered that I don't, and then I can take action more freely.

What project have you not taken any action on? What do you want to accomplish before the end of the year? What are the tools YOU use that are helpful? I'd love to hear in the comments!

EVERY action moves you forward. Every one. Even (and often especially) those that feel like they are moving you backwards. You got this. Be your brilliant Self and go to bed tonight satisfied that you leveled up in your game of life. 

Go forth and love that squirrel!

Photo by Karolina Grabowska from Pexels