How much has changed since my last post. Since my last post, I've moved from South Carolina to New York State, I've been learning more than I ever wanted to know about the medical field because my daughter has some affliction that is beyond traditional medicine's scope, and I've been developing my connection to Spirit. My journey has wavered, meandered, twisted and turned. And when I turn and look back, I'm unrecognizable to myself and my former self is foreign. And, that's as it should be, I suspect. For what kind of living creates identical past and present?
I've been binge watching Outlander this month, on a quest to complete the entire series this month. This mission began when my mother-in-law, who lives with us, declared she was no longer paying for her subscription after the end of the month. Well, I didn't even realize we had one! I looked at the list and saw the show listed, and remembered I'd been interested in seeing it. Since starting, I've been obsessed, even dreaming about it and noticing my thoughts including "ken" and "ye", among other words. Due to being 50% German and speaking it, I started noticing similarities between Scottish and German and did a bunch of research. I had no idea Scots was a Germanic language!
But I digress. The epic love story of Outlander speaks to my heart. I am a sucker for true love. It's what calls me to coach. I believe life is too short to not fall in love with yourself, your community, and your true love. However, I wonder if I could live in the 1700s for love! Then yesterday, I drove for many hours with a sleeping passenger, so I listened to my new book: The Audacity to Be Queen: The Unapologetic Art of Dreaming Big and Manifesting Your Most Fabulous Life. In it, Gina DeVee speaks of female and male energy. She speaks of how women and feminine energy have been diminished over time. I often thought of Outlander's depiction of the mentality around women. Property. Tools to use. Servants. And, perhaps, that's why Jamie is such a pivotal character - he respects Claire from the beginning. He teaches the boys and men around him to respect women. In her teachings of how to be a queen, Ms. DeVee speaks about women stepping into their power. As Claire did time and again. Yet, there are times when Claire and Jamie had to fight about who was in charge. He teaches her when and how to be queen AND let him be king. I think we can modernize these lessons and it will make a huge difference in how we interact. It's given me a lot of food for thought.
I used to be very out of balance when it came to my energy. I was of the belief that femininity was weak. "I don't need a man!" energy. So, I guess I attracted little boy energy instead, come to think of it! 😀 But there was always a part of me that also appreciated the courtesy of a door being held open, a comfort in the physical strength of a man who uses his strength to serve or protect, or the firm and gentle authority of an in-balance man. In 2007, I began my personal growth journey. about five years later, I began learning about male and female energy. It all made so much sense for me. The more I learned, the more I could feel when I was naturally in my feminine energy. Feminine energy isn't weak. It's fierce, but gentle. I realized that my father's energy wasn't balanced male energy, and my mother's wasn't balanced female. I was grouping everyone together when there were so many paths to choose and ways to be. I felt my way into my energy, instead of running from it. I continue to and probably will until my dying breath. I know there will no top to that mountain!
So, I deepen my quest into my queendom and matriarchy. I am glad to have Claire as my role model. Strong-willed, intelligent, sensual, gentle, fierce Claire. She can be sexy in one minute and elbow deep in someone's blood while shouting orders the next. She and Jamie have their beautiful yin yang relationship where they keep no secrets and wear their hearts on their sleeves. Where vulnerability allows for passion. Where they know each other so deeply that they know what the other needs. Their respect for each other allows for all this. Their knowing of themselves. I want that for myself, my husband, and our marriage. For the world.
The more I lean into my feminine energy, the more I like who I am discovering. From barely knowing myself in my first marriage - I kept shrinking myself to please him. It never worked - to now; I'm excited for the future. Which is good, since the world right now...!
In what ways are you stepping into, or wanting to step into, your feminine energy? What's on the other side, calling you forth?
