Inner Critic -- Tame Thyself!

About a week ago I began to pull the string of my latest mind-blowing breakthrough. 

I knew I was judgemental, I think we all are, to an extent. I just figured I had an extra big helping of it. My inner critic had A LOT to say about me. I bet yours does too. Have you ever noticed that it's never complimentary? What a life it would be if my inner critic was also a cheerleader! But no, mine likes beating the drum of me not being worthy and not enough. Recently I've noticed it really likes, "Why bother?" Like I need help not doing the things I want to get done while quarantined. 

One of the big things I realized last week is that I listened to everything other people were saying through this filter. What I mean is, if someone said something that wasn't dripping with love, I heard criticism. I live with two teenagers. Let's just say I heard a lot of criticism. With my 16-year-old it would go something like this, multiple times a day, "You don't need to take that tone with me?"

"I don't have a tone, I'm just taaaalking!"

And then we'd both go stomping off. Fun times.

Realizing how much I listened through criticism, of myself and others, had me see so many places that this filter nailed my foot to the ground. 

• I'm committed to love on the planet...hello, that starts with ME!
• It made me pick fights with people because they'd say things and I'd get defensive, which of course makes them defensive
• I never trusted others fully, even an "I love you" from my husband would get a "Yeah, but..." from my brain
• I could never allow myself to get feedback from my peers, from letting others read something I wrote to presenting something...it terrified me and kept me small.
• Just look at my blogging history, that voice kept me from speaking out with a whole lot of, "You need something perfect to say..." or "Who do you think you are? No one wants to hear what you have to say."
• Needing to be perfect everywhere (and therefore often not starting things) -- so I didn't exercise, create workshops, allow myself to be fully myself with people, etc.

I'm sure I could go on and on.

The best thing about this is I keep noticing the LACK of the critic. All week long there have been moments when the silence is deafening. I'm training to lead a course and in our first training meeting she laid out the steps for certification, including videoing ourselves and letting others watch. No voice! I look at myself in the mirror and I notice how good I look. Whaaaaa...? My son does his thing and I joke with him instead of feeling wounded. 

And the really really incredibly amazing thing? I've lost five pounds. Apparently, criticism weighs a lot.

So, I strongly encourage you to look and see what the impact on you is of your flavor of inner critic. Who does it not allow you to be? What do you avoid? Who doesn't get to know the real you?

I strongly encourage you to kick it to the curb and start lovin' on yourself. It's way more fun.

Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash